November is a tough month for me. The past 7 Novembers to be exact. Lauren was born on December 23 but that day isn't as hard as the month leading up to it. For some reason the anticipation of her birthday is worse than the actual day. I start getting anxious and sad when November hits. It is hard to think of another year without our girl. Another year without a birthday celebration. Another Thanksgiving where we gather up all our strength and give thanks for all the hard stuff that has shaped us into the family and people we are. It's easy to thank God for all the blessings and good things but it's not so easy to say thank you for something that causes such tremendous pain. We are so thankful for Lauren and the gift she was. She changed us and I think she changed others too. She changed the way we think, the way we feel, the way we pray, and the way we love.
November is also the month that we do this:
These are always the first decorations of the season for us.
That is such a sweet little tree!
ReplyDeleteHugs from NJ & praying for your healing.
PS. I just wanted to make sure it was ok to add your blog link to my blog Pooh's Corner. Let me know. momsbabypooh@msn.com
ReplyDeleteThanks. Christina
Love you tree!
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you during these next few months.
You. Are. Amazing.
Thanks for sharing your heart, once again. I'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteOh Jesus, help us to trust You when it just doesn't make any sense.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful pictures, Jam. And such precious trees for such a precious girl.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you wrote about this so I can tell you that you're not alone. I feel the same way when August hits (Samuel passed away Sept. 27). It's this weird anticipation, like I'm bracing myself for the wave to hit. I guess that's the way it works, my friend that lost all of her quintuplets said she experiences the same thing leading up to their birth/loss day. I take a lot of comfort though,(and I hope you do, too), knowing that other momma's experience it, too. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeletethese are such gorgeous pictures of such a beautiful moment....
ReplyDeletePosts about Lauren always touch my heart and bring tears to my eyes. There is a beautiful grace that shines through your story. It gives me hope and strength.
ReplyDeleteThat tree is absolutely adorable!